Sometimes I wonder if I'm out of control
if there will be relief for this part of my soul.
Knowing that people can't feel what I feel
I am so lonely that my tears have to drill.
You walk inside my mind but can't hear what I'm saying;
I thought maybe you would have plans of staying.
The thing is I'm tired and relentlessly crying,
waiting for something that will keep me from dying.
I tried to be free and stronger each day
but there are some mornings I just want to lay.
on my bed, on my thoughts, on your lap, on myself
leave my heart empty, inside a box, on a shelf.
This is my dark side so don't be surprised;
It might frighten you to see the pain in my eyes.
But I can't be smiling with my glance every time,
or keep writing sweet poems with beautiful rhymes.
I hold on to my sorrow and to my faithful fears;
I live dreadfully on my torment and tears.
The next day might come maybe different from now,
it gets harder each time to know when and how...
I ask myself why my heart is derailing;
taking off masks and my sorrows unveiling,
my feelings, my secrets, my sadness, my loss.
I don't expect claims just a rest from this thoughts.
This is my darkest side, I'm introducing it to you, many people feel that way sometimes in their lives, loneliness is not just being without someone, but a feeling you have deep inside even though you're surrounded by love. This is a part of my soul that's coming "out of the closet".